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Things Dogs Must Try to Remember

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  • I will not eat the cat's food before, or after, they eat it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand up straight when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom's and dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not steal mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
  • Neither will I play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
  • I will not wake mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's licence and registration.

    —Received in email—original author unknown.

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cartoon of a BMD puppy running left by Cynthia Lockley Return to the Dogs' Leads


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